Existential Crisis

As previously noted, my wife and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary. Having a child, though makes the already nearly impossible task of buying a present for me even more difficult than it used to be. I don’t want much, and the things I want usually keep me occupied for every long periods of time: Book series, video games that take dozens of hours to play, entire seasons of TV shows. Those are more difficult to with a toddler.

So, this year, I decided to make it easy. I told my wife I wanted a houseplant. More to the point, a desk plant for work. I even read up on plants that are resilient and don’t require much light.

Today, we go to Lowe’s. We get to the greenhouse. They have one of my suggestions, and dozens of others as well. I’m suddenly overwhelmed. I have so many choices, how do I pick the right one? I’m suddenly going to be responsible for the care for keeping it watered and fed. What if I over/under feed/water it? What happens on days I’m not there? Does it need more soil than it comes with? Do I need to get a bigger pot?

And then my wife asked me to name it. Do plants need names? Am I really in a position to sign an identity to a mass of cells that never asked for it? Is it right to possess a life form completely agnostic and apathetic to its will? To keep it merely for my own pleasure? I was rendered incapable of justifying ever eating a salad again.

And yet, somehow, I was totally missing the complete irony that I didn’t even blink at the decision to have a kid, and that I’ve had none of these problems dealing with her. Moving on.

I was finally able to pry my brain away from the clutches of indecision and managed not only to choose one, but to name it. Good luck to both of us.

Años Quatro, "AQ" for short.
Años Quatro, “AQ” for short.

Thanks for reading, and not judging too harshly.


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